TV vets Teri Hatcher, left, Jane Kaczmarek and Patricia Heaton gather at Sunday's 2006 Comedy for a Cure event, which benefited the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance.

By Sharon Knolle, Special for USA TODAY

HOLLYWOOD -- What is nothing worth? A cool $7,500, if it's presented by Teri Hatcher.

Hatcher didn't sing, as did Hairspray's Marissa Jaret Winokur, and she didn't receive an award in her honor, as did Julianne Moore. What the Desperate Housewives star did do was raise a lot of money at the Comedy for a Cure event benefiting the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance Sunday night in The Music Box at the Henry Fonda Theater.

At the live auction, honorary chairwoman Hatcher modeled a pear-drop diamond pendant from Harry Winston, valued at $17,000, posing with the eager buyer who coughed up $16,000. And she stepped in when an item listed in the catalog didn't arrive.

"You don't have to make room for it in your closet; you don't have to put anything anywhere," she announced as the room slowly caught on that they were bidding, literally, on nothing. But someone took the bait, bidding $7,500 for the non-existent item known as "Teri Hatcher's Nothing."

Motivated by co-host Jane Kaczmarek's organization, Clothes Off Our Back, which auctions celebrity clothing for children's charities and as an event partner asked for celebrity-donated handbags for the occasion, Hatcher offered a hatbox containing six of her purses. As she showed off the purses, including a bag by L'Oreal for Golden Globe nominees, she detailed the contents of one: euros and a business card that a professional matchmaker slipped her recently. "Everyone clearly knows about my pathetic, single dating life, right?" she said as the crowd hooted. The collection went for $7,500.

Patricia Heaton, who also co-hosted, spent $23,000 on a Garth Books guitar for her son that the country superstar will personalize later. "I gave up drinking for Lent, but I've had two cocktails," she announced, explaining her splurge. She blamed her cross-bidder for "putting me in the poorhouse."

The proceeds for the evening went to benefit children with a little-known disease, tuberous sclerosis. It gives rise to tumors affecting major organs: the heart, the kidneys and especially the brain. Many victims suffer seizures or are developmentally delayed.

Somber presentations of children and families who are coping with the disease made for an awkward segue into the evening's comedy.

Andy Kindler (Everybody Loves Raymond, The Daily Show) opened. He was followed by Sarah Silverman, who had the audience in stitches when they weren't gasping at her off-color jokes.

Posted 4/3/2006 8:09 PM